Big Life, Small Life

Hi Friends,

Do you live a big life or a small life? I kept asking people this for weeks this spring while I was traveling through Europe. It was an icebreaker, a dinner party topic, but also I really wanted to know.

The attractive Danish intellectuals I had drinks with in Berlin both immediately and confidently responded, “Big.” They knew what they wanted, and what kind of life they were living. On the other hand, an American woman I met in Bologna messaged me a few days after we met that the question had sent her into an existential spiral. I thought her life seemed plenty big, but I didn’t know if telling her that would make her feel better or worse. And I couldn’t give her the answer anyway. She had to figure it out herself.

What does it even mean to live a big life to you? Does it mean to be public-facing? Does it mean to be in a leadership position? Does it mean to have a lot of lovers? Does it mean to have a dramatic existence? Does it mean to be spiritually focused? Does it mean to be rich? To be well-traveled? To run for office in order to change policies? To be someone who saves lives? To be loudmouthed? To be the funniest person in the room? What does it mean?

And what does it mean to have a small life?